How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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