Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
we should paint friendship bongs
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