he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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