When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
