i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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