Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
