tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm just crazy horny about you
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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