Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I had to cum in my sink.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
