my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
