Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize