There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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