Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
