You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
