you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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