Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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