Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
