I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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