Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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