Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
now i know why i became what i already was.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
