Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
