What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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