i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
