what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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