youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
