we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
And then my night got REAL pukey
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
