I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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