Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
