Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize