Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize