Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
