Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
