Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize