Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
