Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
