i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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