Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
we're so committed to being not committed
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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