Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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