No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
