Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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