Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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