How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
This show inspires me to have sex in space
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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