There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
