I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
