I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
