i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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