your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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