your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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