covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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