I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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