Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
