just come out here and I will go home with you...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Randomize
