Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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