hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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