U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
