so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
