I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
