I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
