My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
