'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
