its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This is the high leading the old right now
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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