I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
