am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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