shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
