hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
