JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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