i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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