True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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