You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize