you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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