I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm at about main and main street
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
