You smell like stripper and shame
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
