So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
