she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
smell my finger.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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