DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
