I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
