god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
