Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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